You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
