I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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