hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You may now shotgun with the bride
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
