He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
