We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
