toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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