...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We smell like vodka and hangover
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