No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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