you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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