EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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