Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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