I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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