my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
