Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it because I queefed?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
