You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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