your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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