My hand turned me down
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
