How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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