now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake