Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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