Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
