I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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