Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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