I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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