WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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