drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
dude. I can hear the air.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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