I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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