Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
