so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
