How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
