I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I will die if light touches me.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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