here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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