never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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