my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
