I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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