I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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