I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
