I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
