You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
