great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
