Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
