wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
