im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
