So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Randomize