I puked a lego.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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