I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize