Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
