WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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