The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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