I am in a vortex of obligation.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
