I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
