I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop