I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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