so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
