how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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