He disabled his match.com account in front of me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
