I need help removing her.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she peed on how many people?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
